ARS Iyer - Blog

Saying Adieu to our Beloved


Parting is such sweet sorrow

so said the Bard of Avon in his play “Romeo & Juliet-. Not all parting is sweet but is sorrow nevertheless. When one loses his beloved of many years the loss is immense. It takes a long time to heal the wound and live down the agony of separation.

It is the law of nature that there is death for every one born into this world. As one is adding on years to one’s life the journey in life to the eventual end will come nearer and nearer to reach its consummate denouement. While it is not the design of the almighty that one should welcome the end it is part of a larger circle of life and death. Human nature is such that while one welcomes a birth with joy, a death is unwelcome as it entails grief and sorrow. The departure of one’s beloved from our midst is difficult to come to terms with immediately after the event, but one has to learn to live with it. The pain will have to eventually give place to thoughts of recalling happy memories and erase from our mind the harsh realities we have had to undergo. Beautiful memories should flood our mind of the happy times we had with the departed during his/her life time. This is the only way we retain the pleasant time we had instead of mourning the dead for ever.

Countless men and women die every minute of the day and it will not be realistic to mourn every one. The loss will be immeasurable to those dear and near but it has to be borne philosophically by the concerned persons. It is the only way that a balance can be struck amidst the rise in the population.



  1. Sabeshan

    Very wise words and I agree with you totally. A sort of detached attachment will help us overcome this immeasurable loss. And only our memories of happy times will help us battle sorrow in a positive manner.

  2. Supriya

    Completely agree, we are blessed with innumerable happy memories of Amma that will never be erased out of our minds which will help us get over the sadness of the loss.

  3. Raji

    Very True Daddu,but its really hard to digest the fact that Amma is no more with us.I am still living in a dream like world where at the back of my mind,I know the harsh reality that Amma is not there ,but my other part refuses to accept this fact and in this world,my mother is still very much there.I am stacking things in my mind to share with her over telephone,all the events that happened after that fateful day.And i go close to the telephone (from where I used to speak to her everyday after getting back from Office) ,then something tells me let me speak later,I have this work to do,I keep putting off this errand of mine like this everyday.
    Every night I spend time with Amma in my dream ,at which time my dream world becomes more active than the original world.
    The Irony is I am happy during my dream spending time with amma,but bang the reality strikes at some point and I am woken up shivering and shaking,transported back into the real world!
    This is my state of mind as of now,dont know for how long.

  4. Ambika

    Very true Daddy, but coming to terms with one’s loss is a terribly painful process in itself.. Like Rajikka says I am still not able to accept the fact that Amma is gone and I keep hoping that by some magic of nature Amma might come back but alas that cannot be so.. Hence I try to convince myself that we must make do with the cherished happy memories that we had with Amma and I am ever so glad that we have numerous such memories to keep us going and slowly in time we might probably be able to make peace with this irreplaceable loss that has befallen us!